Lonliness

Lonliness hugs me
Consoling my tears
An invisible friend
Whispering my fears

Stalking my shadow
Daring me in the dark
Clutching me closer
Suffocating my spark

Cold and consuming
Together in time
Desperately drowning
These lonely thoughts of mine.

Silence

Her body is bloody and bruised
As he bashes her on the floor
Her heart is completely confused
As he laughs at his "little whore"

Numb with the pain and the fear
At the sound of her ribs cracking
Praying her children won't hear
As his fists keep on attacking

His punches punctuate her pleading
Accustomed to his vicious violence
Her broken body lies bleeding
As she suffers through in silence.

dedicated to the millions of women who suffer in silence.

may your voice be heard,
may your heart be healed,
may your peace be found.

Beautiful Blue

She holds you in her heart
When the sunrise brakes through
Shinning on the grace of her art
Her beauty reflected in you

She holds you in her heart
As the seasons slowly undo
When winter ends and spring starts
Forever there protecting you

She holds you in her heart
In shades of beautiful blue
Entwined and never apart
Eternally peaceful and true.

dedicated to my cousin, Gilly.

Snowflakes

Christmas diamonds
In a twinkling sky
Kaleidoscopic shapes
Naked to the eye

Capturing sunlight
As icicles melt
Reflecting rainbows
As winter is felt

Whirling with the wind
Ice white snowflakes
Settle on the ground
As wonderland awakes.

dedicated to Lala, my grandmother and winter angel.

Echoes

Soaring through the sky
Circling around you
Searching for your soul
Up, over and through

Inbetween your heart
Listening for the sound,
Of your voice calling
Desperate to be found

Hearing our hearts beat,
Bleeding red butterflies
Staining your soft skin
Love echoes from your eyes.

Pieces

My mind is misshapen
With fractured pieces of me
Lost and confused
Unable to be

My heart is alive
With precious pieces of you
Glowing with light
Now beating anew

My soul is forever full
With treasured pieces of us
Glistening like gold
Filled with love and lust.

Little White Wings

Up in the clouds children play with dirty faces
As the white rabbits organise their own horse races
Music is playing from the strings of a harpsichord
As the king’s knight play with his silver sword
With their horses still racing to reach the finish line
So they can unlock the castle gates in time
For the angels and their guardians who are waiting
With gold angel dust which keeps evaporating
Towards the sugar plum fairies circling up above
Casting new magic spells of happiness and love

So all the bad dreams can float away and be free
With help from the enchanted wood and the blossom tree
Where the garden elves live with ladybirds and frogs
They keep the woods safe for the squirrels and hedgehogs
The elves are calling out for the rescue wizard
To bring his magic potions and his sidekick lizard
All magical life needs reviving in the wood
All bad things to be transformed into good
Children are listening for the one who sings
For all the fallen angels with little white wings.

Spirits Of The Departed

Between the passing moments of dark sleeping hours
There is an open doorway leading far beyond here
Where lost souls and broken dreams yearn greatly to be near
To be living in the daylight sun with all the flowers

With memories of our world and joyful cherished places
Where the moments in their lives were true and everlasting
And the colours they painted were vividly contrasting
Of bluebell filled meadows in vast open spaces

Sometimes they find comfort as they find their way through
To visit those left behind and see them one more time
To hear them breathing lie the sound of a clock chime
To calm their mournful minds so they can start anew

Their quest for solitude is destined but half hearted
Their fate they can’t deny but try hard to avoid
Their desire to find peace is gradually being destroyed
Adrift forever more are the spirits of the departed.

Clouds

Slowly surfacing from the shadows
Searching for sunlight through the darkness
Nothing survives in the abyss of black
Whilst living for pain and its sharpness

Chasing after the clouds full of colour
Floating in the distance my shades of gray
Lost and lonely, drifting all directions
Allergic to the light of the following day

Seeking out the softness and sweetness
Learning, how to illuminate my soul
Clasping at my clouds full of colour
Striking back at my gray clouds that stole.

Scars

I know when you look, you can see
My body disfigured with scars
Some the shape of blooming flowers
And some the shape of shooting stars

The public map of my beginning
My unique creations of body art
Forever part of me, reminding me
How they saved my life by saving my heart

But when you look at me, can you see
The scars that burn me from inside
Ones which your wicked words put there
Desperately drowning, trying to hide.

Radio

They keep playing the song
That reminds me of you
They won’t leave me alone
The words stick to me like glue

They keep playing the song
That reminds me of you
With feelings that never fade
Leaving me torn in two

They're still playing that song
That reminds me of you
How you tormented me
Cutting my soul right through

They're always playing a song
That reminds me of you
Of the times I sung my heart out
Crying my heart out for you

They've stopped playing that song
That reminds me of you
The silence haunts my mind
As I quietly remember you.

Self Perception

Judgement can be jeopardised
With the power of self perception
Trivialising your inner truth
And dallying in deception

Dragging you into your dark
Laughing at the glow of your light
Your heart and conscious constantly at war
You must feel the fear and fight

Believe in your inner beauty
Stand strong in the skin you live in
Be proud of all that you are
Because loving yourself is not the sin.

dedicated to my aunt, Lorain.

Red Windmill

A place where the rich could slum it with all the artists
Expressing their desires with the city exhibitionists
Drinking shots of absinthe to get them high
Seeing visions of the green fairy flying by
Wanting to experience bohemian living
Knowing their world would keep on giving
Known as the children of the revolution
Selling souls with their beauty and prostitution
Wearing costumes of silk corsets and stocking suspenders
To lure money from the drunken big spenders
These beautiful creatures of the underworld
Creating their destiny in their self made wonder world
Sex came easy but love was harder to find
Jealousy would spread and poison the trust in their minds
Eventually driving them into a deep madness
Leaving their hearts suffering alone in sadness
Searching for ecstasy and a hedonistic thrill
Love taunts their souls inside the red windmill.

Paper Cut Hearts

The first time I saw you in the crowd of superstar fakers
It changed me like the wind on a cloudy winter’s day
Surrounded by hypocrites and sugar money takers
And white powder lined up on a polished silver tray
The taste of their sting had an edge of sweet about it
Permeated with the arrogance of the permanently vain
Watching them light candles which were already lit
Drinking shots of liquor and glasses of pink champagne
You hold no memory of the night I saw you there
Suffocated by the crowd seeking false attention
Blinded by the night and blissfully unaware
Of the sycophants around you seeking quick redemption
From the sickening selfishness tainting their point of view
Turning artificial sincerity into pure works of art
Their morality distorted and priorities askew
Hanging between the lines of their paper cut hearts.

Vanilla Sky

Walking through her world like a goddess movie star
The scenes of her life are admired from afar
Aware they all desire her she takes it in her stride
Unable to fake her scorn and contemptable pride
With beauty so defined and charmingly sophisticated
With a sense of style wonderfully understated
Her friends don’t always understand her way of thinking
Good intentions get lost and are in danger of sinking
Like springtime bursting she awakens the senses
Drawing men in deeper and shattering their defences
Leaving them hooked on the toxic end of the line
Unable to resist her, so decadently divine
Those who don’t know her assume she is shallow
But soon understand the preciousness of her shadow
The colours in her life float like a butterfly
All things glow softly under her vanilla sky.

First Publication - 10th October 1990

I wrote this for a school project when I was 11 years old.

We had to write about an inoxuous object

and was fortunate to have it published in the local paper.

A very proud moment indeed in our household!

Trust

Lovers yet strangers with one another
The shocking sounds of words unspoken
The agonising ache of bitter betrayal
Two hearts bruised battered and broken

Confusion befriends overwhelming despair
Spinning in circles turning faster and faster
Laughing loudly and taking control
Mocking this unimaginable disaster

A dizzying sickness starts to settle
Pushing against the paralysing pain
Ferociously fighting the blame and anger
Trust screams to survive and live again.

Earth

Buried with roots and pushing daisies up through the ground
Holding the forest trees in their places where they stand
Keeping secret treasures hidden so as not to be found
Separating the borders of old foreign lands

Waiting to fill up holes as they expand
For new life to be nourished and begin to grow
Archaeologists dig to hold history in their hands
Farmers bring new seeds they wish to sow

Holding them still waiting to break through from below
Giving them a warm home to sleep in during the night
Sheltering them from the cold as the wind starts to blow
Waking them from slumber to brave the morning light

Protecting the planet from underneath our feet
As environmental killers stay stuck on repeat.

Air

Always present moving with the wind and the rain
You can feel it on your fingertips but cannot see
Swirling around you like an invisible hurricane
Lifting up the white waves of the sapphire sea

Filling up vacant spaces with sweet serenity
Giving us life with every breath we take
Feeding the green leaves of the orchard trees
Gently kissing the morning sun as it wakes

Falling down with winter and the white snowflakes
Floating through the summer sky in a blue balloon
Stirring with the glowing light as morning breaks
Waiting patiently on the other side of the moon

Carrying the sound along of a baby's laugh
Forever changing with shapes that cross its path.

Fire

A growing flame igniting from a single spark
Spreading fast, turning everything into grey ashes
Lighting up the sky as it blazes quickly in the dark
Heating up the cold air with burning hot flashes

Waiting for the glass to break as a window smashes
Burning paper as it crawls up the walls to escape
Holding on for its life as a wooden door crashes
Stealing a vacant gap taking up the empty space

With oxygen to feed off and innocence to rape
Giving no mercy and leaving destruction behind
As it changes the outline of a city landscape
With an unforgiving method so cruel and unkind

Moving in all directions with an unstoppable force
Destroying the unsuspecting and showing no remorse.